The Early '90s

Dan and Matt, childhood friends growing up in the mountains of Santa Cruz, CA, decided to form a metal band in 1992 and used psychology class to dream up the specifics. A name was chosen—Cretin—and the general theme that the band still plies in today was fleshed out, along with a splattery logo (Dan Martinez created the current logo incarnation) and hopes to be the next death metal champions. The pair hunted high and low for a drummer who knew the finer points of blasting, but after a couple of years playing with drummers not quite up to speed, they watched Exhumed play live. Col Jones was a combination of Ken Owen, Dave Grave, and Mick Harris, and Cretin thought about kidnapping him. Dan saw Col at a bus stop, throwing rocks at passing cars, and pulled over to offer him a ride. Kidnapping was not to happen that day, but a friendship was forged.

The Mid '90s

A while later, in 1994, Matt joined Exhumed as bassist, Dan moved away to Berkeley, and Cretin was put on hiatus. Two years later, Matt—a diehard lover of early Carcass—grew frustrated, like a petulant child, over Exhumed's non-Carcass influences and quit the band shortly before they were going to kick him out. Needing dental work and without medical insurance, and with a large supply of comic books, roleplaying games, and a warped sense of the world, Matt decided to join the Marine Corps Infantry. This was stupid. Again, Cretin was put on hold, this time for four years.

The Late '90s

Col continued to drum for Exhumed and toured the world. Dan went to school and started his career. Cretin was but a memory.

The Dawn of a New Era!

Matt returned in 2000. He returned to the Bay Area and soon after, Cretin was bristling with activity. Col—unable to extensively tour due to his career—quit Exhumed and joined Cretin. Serious rehearsals began in 2003, and by 2004 the Cretanic Grind Ambush was cut. Relapse signed the band shortly after, and 2005 was spent writing and rehearsing songs for the album Freakery.

The Mid Millenium

After the release of Freakery in 2006, Dan embarked on a transition to womanhood, that on Feberuary 21, 2008, would see "him" legally declared "her." Now known as Marissa Martinez, she is currently working on new material for the band.