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lyrics
Tales of sorrow and hilarity, each song is its own twisted morality play.
Freakery: Tooth and Claw | Tazer | Daddy's Little Girl | Uni-Tit | Cook the Cupcake | Cockfight | Object of Utility | Creepy Crawlies | Walking a Midget | Uncle Percy | Dirt Eater | Mannequin | A Fowl Fetish | Making Roadkill | The Yawning God | Profane
Cretanic Grind Ambush: Stim Fit | Stay | Curdled | Pee Spree

 

pictures
Cretin in all our stunning visage! Behold the sweet princes of grindcore and marvel at their manly magnitude! If you need a higher resolution band pic for print, please email us. There is also a pic for download in the press section at Relapse.
band pic band pic band picDan and Matt at first showDan behind the micCretin live with Matt Harvey

 

guitar tab
Our songs are hideously simple to play, but due to production, you might not be able to discern them. Here are blueprints for the Cretin sound.
Tazer | Daddy's Little Girl | Uni-Tit | Walking a Midget

 

links
These are some of our favorite bands and sites. From fetish to nerdery, our interests laid bare.

Relapse Records: Duh. | Repulsion: The masters! Bow you lowly dogs! | General Surgery: Deliciously gory Carcass worship. | Exhumed: Pals and former band. | Games Workshop: Where Matt's paycheck goes. Death to the False Emperor! | Dekapitator: Col's excellent thrash band, new album coming soon. | Citizen: Matt's political grindcore outfit. | Regurgitate: Label mates and long-time grinders. A staple in the genre. | Decibel Magazine: Best US metal mag, which Matt occasionally writes for. | Marquis: Dan's festish rubber heaven. Marissa's favorite place to shop! | Birdflesh: One of the best grind bands out there, and nice guys to boot. | Wizards of the Coast: Dungeons & Dragons; start here and work your way up to diceless freeform games. Then never talk to girls again. | Napalm Death: Grind Designers, legends, heroes among men. | The County Medical Examiners: Carcass Clone extremists; Matt produces them. | Jigsore Terror: Terrorizer/Repulsion-ish through a Swedish grind filter. | Pungent Stench: The Masters of Perversion. | Myspace.com/cretanic: This is the myspace page that Relapse set up for us. The band doesn't moderate it, so if you need to contact us, why don't you send us an email here? | Zombi: This band is amazing. | Pig Destroyer: Massive wall of sound. Blistering. | Emilie Autumn: Marissa's favorite musical maiden. Spread the Suffering!

 
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