A Brief Introduction

We are Cretin --a grindcore band comprised of disgusting, lurching miscreants, bent on a total resurrection of the late '80s grind style. Drawing heavy influences from Repulsion, Napalm Death, Terrorizer, and other seminal acts, we assault your ears and delicate sense of good taste as only a shambling, half dressed, drooling maniac could: with unrelenting blasts of down-tuned sonic noise...a nostalgic old-school grind sound tempered with our unique brand of lyrical perversion.

Good Times, Old Grind

Now that the formalities and adjectives are brushed aside, the easiest way to describe Cretin is by putting on some of your favorite extreme metal albums of old—you know, the classics. That's what we're after. It's not that we're against change or growth or musical evolution—the band has many modern faves, too—it's that we simply grew up listening to the old stuff and find it has more charm, more personality. There's a need for a band that delves into the old style; practically no one is doing it. We wish we had some music like this to listen to. That's why we make it. And we hope you enjoy it, too. Ain't this shit fun?

The Style, A Primer

Here's our version of a manifesto, more of a promise to ourselves, to keep the music sounding just the way we want it. There's enough room in grindcore today for many different aesthetics and styles. This is ours. It's not codified, and we haven't fleshed a religion with any bylaws, but these are the simple rules Cretin play by:

1. No drum triggers. No drum punch-ins. If Col can't play it live, in one take, then we don't do it. Psychologically, our brains are effected by the tempo shifts of a drummer—as he hesitates during a difficult section, as he rushes a fill because he loves the next riff—and not only do metronomic click tracks destroy that, but punch ins do, as well. Trust in Col; he will take you to hell and back.
2. Play fast, but make it catchy. Legitimize the blast as the defacto beat, make 190 bpm groove with downbeat accents. The music isn't a machine gun, and it's not a scalar exercise—it's a pounding, throbbing train. Hyperblasts have reached a point where they've lost aggressiveness, the prime characteristic of the blast. Let's take it back to its favorite tempo.
3. Slop is charm. Mistakes are left in. In this way, the music retains its human element. Grindcore is music for people, not math for robots. String noise, squelch, hum, and missteps provide handholds for the music; they are reference points for your ear. You will come to love them. What is music that features no character? No humanity?
4. Riffs are key. The novelty of the death and grind drum effect took over the genre somwhere down the line, and the riff has suffered. Balance them. Grind came from the marriage of death/speed metal and extreme punk and hardcore; use the rock and roll song construction those early bands touted. Create keys. Be mindful of the pedal points in the riffs and build on them for contrast because it's the only way you can make a song entirely constructed of blasts sound different riff-to-riff.
5. Vocals must be semi-decipherable. Growling is a great effect, but it doesn't carry a song on its own. We purposely leave "signposts" for the listener with enunciation. Those are the moments the listener yells along to. Straddling the fence between yelling and speech, effect and language—that's the art.
6. Above all, defer to the masters, the designers, Repulsion and Napalm Death, Terrorizer and Carcass, the genesis, and the myriad of bands that inspired them, like Slayer, Siege, Larm, etc.

The Releases

This is what we've output so far. For a band that started in 1992, it's depressing. But that will change very soon, as we're constantly writing and recording now.

Cretanic Grind Ambush (2004)

Being our first real demo, Cretanic Grind Ambush was recorded on a multitrack inside a storage facility. We sent it to Relapse, and they asked to release it as an Underground Series 7", which made us more than giddy. The songs are just settling into the style we elbow to death on our new full-length: namely, Repulsion, Terrorizer, and Napalm Death worship. The outside artwork was done by bassist Mr. Creamjeans; in fact, that is his handsome mug on the cover.

The Repulsion Tribute Album (Unreleased) (2004)

Repulsion recommended Cretin as a contributor to the Tribute album that was being assembled. We chose the song "Eaten Alive" and recorded it shortly after our 7". While the vocals suffered due to poor recording techniques, the resemblence to the original was almost preternatural. We sent the track off, but heard the project died before fruition.

The Full-Length Demo (2005)

We recorded ten songs from the Freakery album using a recorder and single mic. Sans vocals, solos, and any sense of decency, the tracks were previewed at Relapse. Considering they were almost solid, crackling noise, it's a wonder that Relapse didn't shit their pants and kick us off the label immediately.

Freakery (2006)

Recorded in December of 2005 and into 2006, Freakery is 16 songs of sonic punishment. The album, like all of Cretin's music, was recorded entirely by the band itself. This DIY ethic ensured that every last element on the album is our total uncomprimised vision. The artwork and layout was slam-dunked by Relapse in-house graphic designer extraordinaire Orion Landau.